Tuesday, 13 September 2016

Formal Email


To: Brad.Blackstone@Singaporetech.edu.sg
Cc: 1602580@Singaporetech.edu.sg

Subject: Rafiana's Introduction

Dear Brad,

I am Rafiana Begam Binte Mohamed Rafirk from your Tutorial Group 5 for Effective Communication. I am writing this email to share with you more about myself, my goals in Singapore Institute Technology (SIT) as well as my aims for the future.
Recently I have graduated from Temasek Polytechnic with a Diploma in Integrated Facility Management. In the course of my studies, I had learnt about facilities operations and management, contract management as well as sustainable facility management and had applied the acquired knowledge in projects. My final-year major project was involved in the recertification of Green Mark Office Interior of my internship company at Colliers International where we implemented energy features in the office to achieve cost effectiveness. This project, which was done in a team of two, was awarded Platinum from the Building Construction Authority.

Besides doing sustainability projects, I love doing community involvement projects. In polytechnic, I had participated in various voluntary works such as the Overseas Community Project trip in Laos, Elderly Befriending Programme and “Paint a New Hope”. I found it fun to interact and organise activities for the students and elderly. It had honed both my communication and service skills. In addition, it has given me the inclination to think, to act, and to want to donate more of my time, efforts and my heart to help others.

My goal in SIT is to graduate with a Bachelor’s Degree in Engineering with Honours in Sustainable Infrastructure Engineering (Building Services) within four years.

My aims for the future are to shape a high quality, sustainable and friendly-built environment in order to drive Singapore's construction industry towards more environmental-friendly buildings as well as to promote sustainability in the built environment and also to raise environmental awareness.

I hope from this email you are able to know me better. Thank you for your time.

Sincerely,
Rafiana

Revised on 21 September 2016.

5 comments:

  1. Thank you very much, Rafiana, for this well-written and comprehensive introduction. You go into great detail as you explain some key points about yourself, your goals and your aims for the future. From the information on your field of study in the poly to the description of your community involvement projects I can see that you are really a "well rounded" individual with lots of interests and talents. Kudos for that!

    If I were to give any constructive feedback for this letter, I'd suggest a review of some of the capitalization. You might check out this website first, and then review which nouns actually need to be capitalized and which ones not: https://owl.english.purdue.edu/engagement/2/1/42/

    Overall, however, this is an impressive letter. Thank you for the great effort!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. p.s. Is the best subject of this "a formal e-mail"?

      Delete
    2. Dear Brad,

      Thank you for your feedback. I have made the necessary changes.

      Sincerely,
      Nana Rafiana

      Delete
  2. Thanks for revising this. I was just wondering though if you should thank those that respond to your posts. What does the consummate communicator do?

    ReplyDelete
  3. Dear Brad,

    I thanked them and responded to their comments. Thank you for your advice.

    Sincerely,
    Nana Rafiana

    ReplyDelete